HEARD the one about the son of a London cabbie who has won more than 10million as a golfer without winning a event?
The player in question is Brian Davis, who switched from the European Tour to try his luck in the States twelve years ago. He has been living the American dream ever since.
His earnings on the PGA Tour now add up to 10.13million, and he leads their all-time table of money winners without a victory to his name.
Davis latest cheque for a share of 43rd place in the Safeway Open last weekend was a relatively modest 14,000 about half his average earnings from each of the 349 tournaments he has played in the States.
And he will need to do a lot better in the three remaining events he will play on a medical exemption after being sidelined for 28 weeks with back and neck injuries.
Davis, 43, returned to action needing to make around 523,000 from his four starts, otherwise it is back to the second tier Web.com Tour, where he played in 2105 before reclaiming his PGA Tour card.
If he is going to stay in the big time, Davis will probably have to pull off that elusive first victory or at least add to his frustrating run of five runner-up finishes, although the last of them came in 2010.
That was the year he made headlines throughout the golfing world for an incredible act of sportsmanship during a play-off with Jim Furyk the current USA Ryder Cup captain - at the Verizon Heritage.
The Londoner called a two-shot penalty on himself for brushing a reed on his backswing as he played a bunker shot on the first extra hole, although it was impossible to detect with the naked eye.
Davis thought he saw a tiny movement, and asked rules officials to study TV footage of the shot.
They were ready to give him the all-clear until super slow-mo replays showed he had flicked the reed.
He would still have been OK if it had been anchored in the bunker. But it came free when the tournament referee tugged at it, and the two shot penalty for touching a loose impediment handed victory to Furyk.
Davis said: People were saying nobody else could possibly have seen what happened and that it didnt affect the shot- but I couldnt have lived with myself if I hadnt called the officials over.
If Id won Id have earned about 675,000 instead of the 404,000 I got for second place, but I reckon not winning probably cost me more like 2million.
A victory would have got me into the Masters and a lot of events with guaranteed prize money, and a lot of bonuses from my sponsors would have kicked in.
A win on the PGA Tour can be life-changing. But none of that would ever be worth cheating for.
Davis does know what it is like to be a winner. He won twice on the European Tour before heading across the Atlantic, claiming the 2000 Spanish Open title, and the ANZ Championship in 2004.
That was also the year he became the first English player to finish top of the pile at the PGA Tour qualifying School, and earned the right to play full time in America.
No-one would begrudge Davis a change of luck as he bids to retain those playing rights.
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Pot luck at St Andrews
GARY PLAYERS sadness at St Andrews being brought to her knees by equipment provided a great soundbite.
Everyone knows the Old Course is practically defenceless when conditions are calm like for Sundays final round of the Dunhill Links Championship as you can avoid the pot bunkers.
But the set-up for the Dunhill Links encourages low scoring.
And Rory McIlroy can confirm St Andrews still has teeth in bad weather. Remember his wind-lashed 80 in 2010?
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